International Council on Reproductive Restriction

a missive from the International Council on Reproductive Restriction

A recent foray into a local grocery made a shocking discovery.  Supermarkets are promoting non-pregnancy! There was a whole aisle dedicated to feminine hygiene products. This is code for pads and tampons to control the abortion that is menses. It is well known that periods are in fact abortions – it is the blood of a non-conceived baby being dripped into bundles of commercialized cotton.  We propose an initiative to ban all tampons and “maxi” pads (The x in “maxi” clearly denotes some kind of Illuminati association). The availability of  feminine hygiene products promotes the idea that its ok to not be pregnant. What kind of message are we sending our children?

A further investigation revealed that men, too, are being tricked into believing that sex is for purposes other than procreation.  At a local drug store, there was a whole aisle dedicated to lotion! Yes, lotion.  Clearly, this is encouraging masturbation. Any ejaculation that doesn’t result in pregnancy is an insult to God. It’s like they’re jizzing in God’s face! Giving God a facial! A pearl necklace on our Beloved Lord, who spites them all with His foreseeing hand! A cream pie for the Big Guy! Well, this has gone far enough.

We propose that anyone caught in possession of tampons, pads, lotion, or any other device or implement that encourages non-pregnancy be punished with:

1. A brand with the letter “A” that stands for abortion.

2. A $100.00 dollar fine, which is the cost of the health care we would not have provided for the child that was bled into a pad or jazzed into a Kleenex while watching those diabolical Katy Perry videos.

3. 6 months in a Christian re-education camp, so that they may learn the ways of the Lord as seen in the word of God, the Bible, the only book anyone needs.

We at the International Council on reproductive Restriction have made it our goal to ensure that every Caucasian woman in God’s America is pregnant with child.

#pro-life  #forced birther  #Republican Party